I’ve been reading a lot of articles about relationships lately . . . stuff like find your soul mate, find your one true love, how to have a health marriage, etc. Some good articles, some not so good. This is my very simple take on things.
I don’t believe that the universe, or fate, or whatever, puts someone in front of you and says “Here, here you go – this is your one perfect match, your soul mate. Make it work or you will be alone forever.”
I also do not believe that neither of you will ever be attracted to anyone else or want for anything now that you have found each other. That’s just naive and quite frankly, would probably be boring as hell.
For me, I believe that I have chosen my soul mate. He’s smart, handsome, funny, energetic, fun, hard working, creative, considerate, helpful, and most of the time he can be compassionate, We have a lot of the same interests and a lot of the same values. We have a lot of fun together.
Every day I wake up and decide that I’m going to love him. By that I mean it’s my choice. It’s also his, and we decided a long time ago to make that choice and commitment to each other. The ultimate mutual goal is to spend the rest of our lives together as husband and wife – being happy and supportive of each other.
People grow and change, they can even change what they want out of life . . . change their minds about children, about a career path, political opinions, etc. The question is, do you chose to stick with them through their changes, or not. It really is that simple. We are all in control of our actions, of our bodies, of our decisions.
Do keep in mind that at some point both of you are going to act like ass-holes. Sometimes people make mistakes, exhibit poor judgement, make bad or hurtful decisions. The way that effects you, is up to you. I’m not saying to be a doormat, but I’m saying you have a choice to forgive hurtful or bad decisions and continue to move through life with the person you have chosen.
Be kind to each other, respect each other, be honest and support each other. And what boundaries you chose to set with each other is no one else’s business. Don’t let a third party tell you what your relationship should be like and don’t ever give a third party power over your relationship. All that matters is that you are both happy with yourselves and happy with each other.